I wish I could treat myself the way my GPS treats me!

Loving yourself as if you were your best friend.

For starters let’s see what the noise and hype about self-esteem really is. 

Self-esteem is a standard of  “success” has everybody trying to get as much of it as they possibly can. 

Self-esteem is a judgment of oneself, of one’s own worth.

The proponents of self-esteem as a measure of success state that in order to have a good dose of self-esteem you have to believe and feel you are indeed very successful. And the way you get there is by measuring yourself against everybody else, by being better than or superior to everybody else. It has gotten so out of hand that you cannot be “average” or “common” or “normal” anymore. To be considered successful, you have to be exceptional.

Because of the perceived importance of good self-esteem, people work hard to achieve it. This makes sense if you believe that as you raise your self-esteem, you raise your value in your own eyes and in the eyes of those who judge you.

This race to be awesome as fast as possible has been captured by a huge industry that promises to deliver big chunks of self-esteem if you buy whatever it is they are selling. It targets the whole gamut of human existence—cosmetics, plastic surgery, cars, housing, vacations, clothing, restaurants, schools, neighborhoods, even special courses and seminars. They all promise to make you feel better about yourself, to raise your value so that you can compete better in this world.

Not even children are spared from learning to be awesome. They play with toys that aim to be role models for the winners in this race, just like Barbie’s boyfriend “totally cool Ken” and other manufactured role models.

I find this self-esteem doctrine that emphasizes your worth quite disruptive and damaging. It’s a recipe for a life riddled with anxiety and frustration that can easily lead to depression or delusional narcissism. 

To learn more visit:  Happiness No Matter What!  The Essential Seven Principles Program for a Happy You

 I would love to hear what you think about the role of self-esteem in today's society and in your own life. 

Love and Light,

Monica

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YOU HAVE CROSSED THE BRIDGE. YOU ARE IN NEW TERRITORY. SO WHAT DO YOU DO NOW????

YOU HAVE LEARNED TO MEDITATE.  

YOU MEDITATE DAILY.

YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE.  

YOU ARE IN NEW TERRITORY.

SO…..WHAT DO YOU DO NOW????

You are on the other side of the river.  You have started to acquire a new awareness, a new way of looking at “reality”.  You understand the futile circularity of your thinking process.  You are beginning to discern what is important from what is not important.  You get a glimpse of how much the voice in your head is getting you no-where. 

In a word, your mind is leaner and you are wiser.  You feel a bit happier but you also realize you are becoming a different person.  What was important yesterday is not relevant today, what was drama and hysteria is now an experience to go through, what was judgment and anger are becoming something slightly more subtle.  You realize that you have shed stuff you were familiar with.  Stuff that made you who you thought you were for decades.  You are on the other side of the bridge looking back at that familiar face that is paling little by little. 

And… you panic!  The grass may be greener here but you are not that sure of who you are in this new territory.  You realize that most of what gave you confidence and a sense of belonging is becoming quite irrelevant in this new world. 

You understand that the little you have explored through your meditation practice has given you beautiful moments of deep peace, fragrant whiffs of new ways to love, tentative sharp insights that surprise you, glimpses of kindness that turn you happy.  You know it is the real you in a beautiful land and yet….  so much newness makes you uneasy. The uncertainty of the newness, of the novelty, of the change, is unsettling you.

Paradoxically, you also start noticing a bit of fear creeping into your mind..., the fear that all this growth and newly acquired joy might disappear.  You realize you don’t know how to work with it or what else to do to make it permanent.  

You wish there is something you can do to not only keep your meditation practice strong but also to strengthen your connection to the new You and to your new Life. 

And I believe you are right! You need other tools, techniques that will complement your meditation and will integrate your quiet practice with your active life with a renewed sense of reverence and sacredness. Something else that will deepen the intention you bring to your meditation so that it will permeate all aspects of your life.

There are many many tools:  rituals, devotional chanting, ceremonial participation, retreats, yoga, breathing exercises, etc., all beautiful enhancers of any spiritual path, but I believe that there is one in particular that is absolutely essential to give deep meaning to your spiritual unveiling and growth: PRAYER.   

Prayer is the ultimate “technique” you need in order to navigate the new territory you have started to acquire.  When you learn what it is, what is an authentic prayer, a powerful prayer, and you learn to use it, you will begin to feel its grace pouring over you.  You will know that you have arrived.

In my next posts, we will dive deeply into the realm of prayer.  Stay tuned!

In the meantime, I would love to receive your comments, your questions, suggestions, scrawl down to the comments box, or you can send them to:  info@monicabelizan.com

Love and Light!

Monica

To go into more depth on what to expect when you start to meditate and how to become the happiness you are meant to be, check out my new book:  HAPPINESS NO Matter What!